Love's Masquerade by Love's Masquerade

Author:Love's Masquerade
Language: rus
Format: epub

Chapter Sixteen

Hays woke a little after five a.m. She lay on her side, still in her clothes. Before anything else, she reached out a hand, but the bed beside her was empty. She had known it would be, but for just an instant, she had hoped.

The room was dark, the day not yet dawned. She ran her fingers lightly over the pillow next to her, trying to feel the depression where Auden's head had rested. The crisp cotton was cool, and there was no trace of her that lingered, not even the subtle scent of her. That absence struck Hays as cruder than anything she could remember feeling since she had learned almost eight months before that she was very likely dying.

Such a simple thing to miss—the sense of a woman next to you in the night. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed it until she had fallen asleep with the comfort of Auden by her side. Being near Auden reminded her of many things that she missed and had not thought to experience again.

Hays rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Their kiss felt like an isolated moment out of time, born of unusual circumstances during a fairy-tale weekend when reason had been suspended. It had been perfect, and perhaps that was the most it could ever be. Even had she been less uncertain of her future, it was possible, even likely, that Auden's interests lay elsewhere. And common sense told her that any kind of involvement with Auden was impossible, even if Auden was interested.

"And it really doesn't matter, because I can't get involved. Not now." She swung her legs off the side of the bed and waited for the inevitable dizziness to pass. Then she made her way to the bathroom and stripped off her clothes, all the while trying to put the memory of Auden's soft voice, reassuring her as she fell asleep, from her mind. She couldn't remember Auden's soothing words, only the sense of rightness she had experienced stretching out next to Auden on the bed. Auden. Auden's voice in the dark, Auden's hand on hers, Auden's mouth—

"Stop it, for Christ's sake." Her voice bounced harshly off the tile walls.

To prevent further reminiscences, she concentrated on the arrangements that needed to be made. A car—she needed to make sure Abel had arranged for a car. Frowning, she examined the trousers she had hung over a hanger on the shower door the night before. Good. Most of the wrinkles appeared to have worked their way out. She had another clean T-shirt that Abel had purchased for her, so she'd have reasonably fresh clothes for the morning.

No matter how she tried to distract herself with the details of the day, as she turned on the shower and waited for the water to get hot, she was still thinking about Auden—about her smile, her gentle strength, her tender comfort. When she stepped into the heat, she was imagining what it would have been like had they truly slept together and awakened side by side.

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